The Royal Knee

Should a blog dedicated to absurdity, amongst other matters, dwell on a subject as serious as the length of  the Duchess of Cambridge's skirt?

The issue is clearly of some importance and concern to the Queen, as press comments in recent months have revealed and now revived. Some have even toyed with the almost treasonable thought that the young royal's dress sense errs more towards the WAG than the WAP (easy to work that one out ...).

However, as the Queen knows from her long experience, knees have a role to play in a royal setting only when they are being bent in respect. Elsewhere they have no place. She is right to be concerned. The human knee is not an aesthetic object; it is a highly complicated articulation with various knobs and dimples, which does not even suggest beauty or elegance. For that very reason, one royal knee is never to be hung over the other, a posture which only emphasises its knobbliness when exposed.

Models on the catwalk and film stars on the red carpet, dressed from head to lower thigh in highly expensive gear, simply fail to realise the sheer awkwardness of their knees as they lurch along or stand in homage for the cameras, apparently oblivious to their peculiar lumpiness for which there is no cure except to cover up.

So on this I have to side with the Queen. Lower the hemline, Kate, and spare your knees' blushes.

CJM
March 2012